Reflections

It's truly amazing how so much can change in such a short time isn't it?  I added another ring to my tree this month and it has caused me to look back a bit at how much has happened so fast.  Thankfully, my kids humor me and wished me a "Happy 26th Birthday"....since I was just 25 last year right?  Anyway, I've been thinking about all those out there who were such a help to me and the girls after we lost Jess.  First, I want to thank my wife, Heather, who jumped into the middle of this dramatic family and helped me hold the reins and who has become such a wonderful life partner and inspiration to keep on going strong.  Really, there were so many of you who were so ready and willing to lend a hand, a heart, or an ear, it's overwhelming to consider.  Brad and Esther Appleman who were actually here when Jess died, they were an immediate shoulder and offered their support through the hours and days following.  Floyd and Peggy (mom and dad), thanks for keeping us in the family.  My parents, thanks for all the love and support and helping me stand against the Nay Saying.  My sisters Shauna, Sarah, Emilee and Laura Lyon who came all the way out here to hillbilly country to say their goodbyes.  I want to thank my cousin Brice who came out here to live for a short while.  He helped me with the kids and some logging, and gave me someone to talk to after a rough week.  My aunt Diana who showed up in Ohio at just the right time, thanks for understanding this crazy life of mine.  To the boys who came out just to help me work on the cabin and lend some "guy time":  Joe Reuss, Bryan Appleman, Bret Hazeltine, Rick West, Brian Miller, Thad Sherwood, Dan Towne, Matt Hatfield.  My good friend Luke came to lend a hand and an ear.  To the Freeman's and other friends from over Cincinnatti way who donated and showed up to deliver gifts and show their support.  To the countless folks from all over the states and even the world who wrote us letters, sent us convention notes, even money for a bill or two, thank you so much, your gifts and thoughts will never be forgotten.  A special thank you to all the workers who helped me through such a tough time: John, Curtis, Scott, Grace, Carol, Dale, Randy, Sara, Greg, Dorothy...words cannot describe the strength you've shown through God's grace.  To the folks from upstate New York:  Rich and Cheryl, Bill and Becky, Peter and Charlotte, Dave and Jeanne (mom and dad), Anne, Anne, Norm and Joan, Todd and Leoni, thank you for understanding or at least accepting when I took Heather away and brought her to this new life and for all your help with our wedding.  To Jessica's family and friends from back in Oregon, thank you for her and thank you for keeping us in your family even after she is gone.  To the little meetings where we gather on Sunday and Wednesday, who saw the suffering and transformation and tears and joy, thanks for putting up with me. To the ladies Tabitha, Vanessa, and Mary who came and rescued us from "the dreaded bug."  To all those out there who prayed for us, I haven't forgotten any of you or your thoughts, thank you for your faith and your example.

You know, it's easy to look at your life in youth and dream and aspire to be and to do.  It's also easy to look back on 20 years and mourn for all the shoulda beens and didnts.  I think if I have learned anything in my short years, it is that neither past or future are important.  What is important is this very minute and the gift of the next.  I surely hope to make the most of the minutes, hours, days, and years I have left.

My grandpa recently sent me the testimony of his father in the early 1900's.  What a story!  Strange how we all start out on such a chequered path, but I want my testimony to end as his did and so many others we have known.  I was recently asked if there was a difference between the love from ane wife to the next.  It's a difficult concept and I am not really sure I understand it, but it is not that my love for Jess is gone and it is not that my love for Heather is any more because she lives or any less because she came second.  I am lucky enough now to have twice as much love as anyone else having been loved by two sweet, amazing women.  I am so thankful for both and for having a little part in this great eternal family.