Hello to all who still read this thing, I apologize again for my tardy posts. I guess it shouldn't come as that much of a surprise that I am electronically challenged. Yesterday was the 17th of May, a day that I am sure I will remember for the rest of my days, the day when two years ago Jess was called home. There are several notable dates that come and go as the year spins us around (her birthday, our anniversary, the kid's birthdays, etc), but I am happy to say that although this marks a the end of a life, it has also become the beginning of a new one. I thought of Jess' life much yesterday and I am glad I had a part of it. She truly made me a better person as I am sure she did a lot of us.
I am no longer saddened by her memory, rather joyful for it and I strive to keep her memory alive in our kids as they grow older way too fast. Jess' life reminds me that our time is short and we just don't know what tomorrow will bring. Youth tends to make us far-sighted, believing that we have time to accomplish all our desires, but I am so glad that Jess made her choice to serve God and made that the most important thing of all. When she left me that day, she took nothing with her, but a smile. Naturally, I realized how much ridiculous "stuff" I now had to take care of on my own, but spiritually I realized how much "stuff" I was harboring and trying to lug around. Naturally, the problem still exists, but I have found a new strength in Jess' example and just to leave it all in Jesus' hands. I am learning how to be more content with my place and not to fret over the things we think are important or are causing me worry.
We planted our garden this week and it reminds me of new life and the work it takes to promote growth. I tilled over all of last year's growth that was dead and barren and put it back into the ground to be used again as fertilizer. The whole family got involved and we transformed a bare dirt pit into a beautiful place where God's miracle can do it's work in the soil.
Jess is gone from all of us and there was a time in the recent past that I felt like a bare dirt pit and that I was sinking, but with the help of my family, my new wife, our children, and mostly the Grace of God, I feel like my life may be able to grow again and produce something fruitful and useful. The feelings of sorrow and pain are not any fun and they are definitely not something we would ever choose ourselves, but in retrospect, they are stepping stones to a deeper, richer life, one that has more patience and understanding, and respect for our Creator and His plan.
I hope this finds you all well and wish we could see you, but our money tree is not quite yet blossoming. We are not sure what our place in Ohio is meant for yet, but we are content that we will find out in when the time is right. Until then, don't take today for granted, be a doer, stop sleeping, go visit a friend, go enjoy the sunshine, try to get an extra convention, write a letter to the worker you professed through, take your daughter fishing, smile when you see clouds, thats where Jesus will return from some fine day.
